Rough Day

Hello, everyone!  I just wanted to talk about rough days.  Those days where you may or may not know why, but you just feel down.  It is like everything and everyone around you is moving forward, and you are just stuck in your tiny bubble of sadness.  It is not every day; it may only be once every couple of months; but it is just those days where everything catches up to you, and you just have to cry.  That is okay.

Today was a rough day for me.  I rarely have days where it just feels like everyone is moving on with their lives with new friends, and I am still where I have always been.  Partly it is my own fault.

I have flaws just like everyone else does.  I plan on making a separate post about them, but one of my flaws is basically socializing.  I seem outgoing when with friends, but it takes a lot of energy to actually go out.  I have no problem with staying by myself or just staying at home, but some days it makes me sad to see everyone else making new friends and going out with them.

Normally, it does not bother me or I let it build up (which is not healthy!).  Then it all comes to the surface, and I have a rough day.  Today was one of them.

I am here to say that it is okay to have rough days.  It is okay to randomly burst into tears, because everything starts looming in front of you, and everything catches up to you.  It is okay to stick with yourself and burrow under the covers.  It is okay to take a lot longer in the shower or bathtub.  Whatever it takes to make your rough day a little bit better, do it!

If you like this post, let me know!  Leave in the comments below what you do to brighten your day when it gets rough!

With love and support,

E

I am a Virgin.

Hello, everyone!  The next piece of myself that I would like to discuss is my virginity.  A lot of people in the world do not like talking about this topic or even sex in general.  Maybe that has something to do with our societal norms, at least in the USA.  I wanted to discuss this, because I feel that there is shame, sometimes, with being a virgin into your twenties.

People seem to have this idea that everyone should lose their virginity in their teens or early twenties.  People who still have there “V-card” well into their thirties and beyond are looked at as being odd.  I do not understand why, but I kind of do.  Society has been structured to teach people that losing their virginity in that certain age range is what is the norm and not losing it within that age range is the abnormal.  I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age.

Virginity, to some, is something that is sacred or is saved for the right moment.  To others, virginity is something that is not that big of a deal.  And still to others, sex is just not something that is appealing or enjoyable.  Any of those (and all the in-betweens) are perfectly acceptable!

Being a virgin is not the end of the world.  If someone starts making fun of you or pressuring you, do not let them or do not give into them.  Remember the status of your sex life is your own business; do not let society pressure you into doing something that you are not comfortable or ready to do.

I am a virgin; I am in my twenties; and there is nothing wrong with that.  I do want to have sex, but I do not want to be pressured into doing it by society or my peers.  In the meantime, there are other ways to pleasure yourself besides penetration.  Look around the Internet, but just be safe about what you do.  That goes for having sex, too!  It is the golden rule: be safe!

Let me know in the comments below what you think of this post!  Leave a like if you agreed with what I said or enjoyed reading it!  I was thinking of having a Q and A sometime in the near future!  What do you all think about that?

With love and support,

E

I am a Bookworm.

Reading is one of my biggest passions.  Being transported to another world is like time or space travel without leaving one spot.  Everything from friends to physical locations is, normally, described in such great detail that I can imagine it in my head.  Even beyond reading the book, I think about different parts.  I create a fantasy world, in my head, in which characters, plots, places, and so much more from across so many different books come together to form the ultimate storyline.  I think that is one of the most fun parts about reading, creating a new world from pieces of all the other ones others have created.

I get asked often whether I remember every book I have ever read.  My response is: yes.  I tend to remember the bigger parts or characters of pretty much every single book.  Sometimes I need a bit of a nudge to begin, but I get there eventually.  Small details may get lost within the mess that is my mind, but in general, I can remember the bigger aspects from every book I have ever read.  I know some people cannot say the same, but that is not the point of reading.  The point of reading is to get lost in another world and, for some, to forget the reality that they live in.

I also get asked often how I feel about other people who do not like to read.  My response is: good for them!  I am not someone who will bash other people, because they do not like to read.  Reading is not something for every single person out there.  I do believe that there is a book for every person, but that does not mean they want to call themselves a reader or bookworm.  I do not understand why others are rude or joke about people who do not like to read.  That is there opinion and they are entitled to not liking reading just the same as the others who have their opinion about loving to read.  Reading is not a competition nor a bashing contest.  Reading is for some, and for others, it is not.

Also, I get asked how often do I read or how many books that I read in a year.  My response: it depends!  Sometimes, mostly during school breaks, I can read equivalent to a book a day.  During the school terms, I may only read a book a month.  I also get into reading slumps quite often; so that affects how much I read per month and per year.  It does not matter how many books one has read or how fast one reads them.  Reading is about fun and getting lost in a new world; once again, it is not a competition.

To end this post, I would like to say this: read if you like it; if you do not like it, then do not read.  Also, be nice to people who read as well as to people who do not read.  Reading is not a competition or a place for hate.  It is a place of worlds and characters who anyone can relate to.  It is about finding friends whether fictional or not, and getting lost in places that are entirely their own.

Reading is one part of my soul and is one of my passions.  What are your passions?

Like and comment on this post to show that you liked it!  If you want me to do book reviews or talk more about my opinion on the book community, let me know in the comments below!  If you have any questions related to this post or advice for reading slumps or anything else, ask in the comment section below as well!

Thank you for reading!

With love and support,

E

I am Single.

The next part of my soul that I want to talk about is my relationship status.  Even though some people may say that this part of me is really not a part of my soul, I would respond that it is.  Your relationship status, whether you want to be single or not, does affect who you are as a person.  Being single has affected my identity and has shaped who I am.

I have been perpetually single my entire life.  The only exception, if you call it that, would be when I did date my best friend in middle school.  It is middle school though; so I do not count that as being in a “real” relationship.  Besides that fun fact, I have not dated anyone nor kissed anyone (I am twenty years old; so do not feel bad if you have not either!).  It is not that I choose to be single.  I really would love to be in a relationship; I kind of really, really want to be in one.  I will not settle for just anyone though!

Being single can be…difficult at times.  I do have very close friends, but that is different than having a partner or significant other.  Sometimes you need to vent to someone that is not your friend; and the only option is just writing it down.  I have written letters to people to vent, but I will never send them out to that person.  It does really help writing your feelings down (let me know if you want a post on that!).

Anyway, it is really hard to even get into a relationship.  Talking to people online (I have not found a site that does not have very…creepy people on it) can be scary and nerve-wracking since no one knows if the person you are talking to is an actual person your age or not (same goes for the other person!).  I feel that it is even more difficult in person, because, maybe, technology has taken over and has made it hard to talk to people in person.  I have really wanted to talk to people, but most of the time, they are on their phones or some other form of technology and I am too scared.

Sigh…being single is not of my choice, but it does shape pieces of my soul that makes up who I am.  Even though people say that your relationship status should not define you, in the end, it does whether to yourself or to others.

Let me know in the comments below what you thought of this post!  How do you feel about relationship statuses or just trying to talk to people in general that you are interested in?

I am Pansexual.

The first broad answer as to who I am is: I am pansexual.  This identifier has not been, to my knowledge, around for very long.  That does not mean it is not a valid sexual orientation; I would I hope I would not view it that way as to the fact that I identify with that term.  Anyway, shall I start with the actual definition of the term?

“Pansexuals have the capability of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. A pansexual could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, intersex, or agendered/genderqueer” (stop-homophobia.com).

I have seen other definitions that are close to the one above; so I shall use this one to explain further.  If you would like to read more about it, you can click here.

I find that this definition is a pretty accurate one, in my eyes.  Of course, everyone has their own definition to their sexual orientation even if there is a set one out in the world.  Gender identity or biological sex does not deter me from being able to love anyone.  I have seen some definitions that state that gender identity or biological sex does not matter.  I do not care for that wording.  I feel that some people may take offense to that considering it may be important to the other person/persons involved.

Personally, I like the definition that I have the capability to love every gender identity or biological sex, not that it does not matter.

I am a single, have been since I was born, virgin.  I have never been kissed; I really have not dated anyone before; and I am currently single.  Some people would say that I would not know what my sexual orientation is based off those few short sentences.  I would say that it is okay for you to think that, but I am the only one who knows who I am attracted to whether romantically or sexually.

Pansexuality, amongst a whole array of others if not all of them, has been ignored or laughed at.  Some say that it is a tumblr fad and do not take it seriously.  They mock and bully people who identify with a term that, only in their eyes find ridiculous.

I say that you have the right to your opinion, but that does not mean you have the right to make other people feel bad about themselves.  I find it liberating and exciting that terms are starting to come about for how people feel.  Everyone deserves to have a word that they can describe themselves with.  If someone can identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc., then I can identify as pansexual.

Pansexuality is a hard topic for me explore since I have not dealt with dating someone and their opinion of that (not that it should matter).  I have told a few friends, but I have the view that I should not have to come out (that is for another post!).  As I progress through life, I will come back to this topic and my form of identification.  Who knows, it may change over time as well!

To end this post, I would like to say: whether you identify as pansexual or not, you are valid, and you deserve to be able to identify as something.

If you would like to see a series of me sorting through sexuality and/or sexual orientations, let me know by liking this post and/or commenting below.  For you: how do you feel about sexuality in general, and how do you feel about your own?

 

Who Are You?

The answer is that I do not know. Let me explain.

I truly do not believe there is a right answer to this question.  It is really a loaded question!  I do not think anyone can truly know who they are in every part of their soul.  Our identities, hobbies, passions, dislikes may shift every year, month, week, day, or hour.  Normally, we answer in a broad sense:

  • I am a girl/boy/other/etc.
  • I am a daughter/son/mother/father/sister/brother/etc.
  • I am a bookworm/athlete/mathematician/collector/etc.
  • I am a teen/adult/somewhat adult and somewhat a teen/child/etc.
  • I am straight/gay/lesbian/transgender/intersex/pansexual/bisexual/asexual/etc.
  • I am Christian/Buddhist/Muslim/Atheist/Jewish/etc.

It is rare to find an answer that goes to the core of who someone is.  Why? I think it is because we would be spending years talking about every little thing that makes us who we are.  That is why we revert to general terms, like some of the ones above.

That is why I made this blog.  I want to discover the parts of myself that I do not really talk about and the parts I have yet to discover.  I hope that some people can relate to what makes me who I am.  I hope that I can start to answer the question of this post as I, and we, explore certain parts of ourselves that we have yet to discover, the parts we cover up, or the parts we already know about ourselves to answer the question.  I will answer in the broad sense at the end of this post.  As the weeks go by, I want to not only delve into the broad terms that answer the question, but the little details as well.

Feel free to answer the question in the comments below!  I hope to someday look back at how I answer the question today and compare it to how I answer the question at that moment in time.  I bet they will be different!

  • I am a bookworm.
  • I am pansexual.
  • I am Buddhist.
  • I am a writer.
  • I am a creator.
  • I am a friend.
  • I am me.
  • I am E.